Hey, I’d like a double Whopper with cheese,
no onions. And I’d like to invoke the right of Prima Nocta. As King of the Burgers, I have the right to
deflower your wife on her first night. Whoa, what? No. This guy’s nuts! Let’s get out of here. Are you allowing your property to dictate
rules? Perhaps she be a witch. What?! No. I don’t want to deal with this. Let’s go somewhere else. Arrest these fleeing peasants and throw them
in the tower! Spend 30 days in iron shackles, with water
on every third day. Drive pinchers into his nipples! Let’s see if you leave my burgers behind, then! Ew! What is THAT!? Food of the masses is spoilt pork filler
and no vegetables. And bread made with old rye,
so you hallucinate when you eat it. Well, this sucks. I missed the game. Aha! Caught you at your confession! Football is illegal. What? Football is illegal. That’s ridiculous.
That’s not a law a king would pass. King Edward II, 1314 doth declare: Football is illegal. [BURP] Are you drunk? Yes. [BURP] Water is poison, football is illegal. And I have never showered, lest the devil
enter my penis. Screw football, man — you gotta wash your hands. Yeah, you can’t run a restaurant without washing
your hands. That’s illegal. It’s illegal TO wash your hands. And the law applies to both men and dogs. Wha- but dogs never wash their hands. Good dogs never wash their hands. Bad dogs wash their hands and are sentenced
to capital punishment. Medieval times are fuckin’ weird! This is not Medieval Times. This is The Land of Burger and I doth ordain
myself the King! Now, entertain me for your freedom. If I not laugh, you die. Uhh, don’t you have like a jester or a clown
for that? I did get a clown. He did not appease me.? OH my GOD. Now, who dares defy the king? If I say Chickens are Fries, ye shall yield. If I declare a 7-Whopper sandwich be made,
then yea. Do you not remember the Whopperito? Cheetoes Chicken Tenders? I turned Snickers into a Pie, because I’m
mad with power. Ketchup shake? Why not? I’ll blend onion rings until they’re a juice,
and sell them as King’s Grog. Now, dance! No! No. No. No. No. No. We are not dancing! Then as punishment I will bound off your flesh
with this hot oil! Ow! Ow! Oh my god! Oh my god, it’s melting. It’s melting. We’re free!
Go we’re free! Go Go Go! Fine. Have it your way! I always lose them at the hot oil.