Strange Video Games I Played as a Kid

*dope retro music* Ohohoho, no. That door is NOT locked. I watched that woman just waltz right through. Let me in right now or I swear to- As a kid, my first video game experience was when my parents got me a Game Boy Advance when I was five. I would lay on the couch sideways to be under the lamp so I could actually see the game. (Because otherwise, it was like playing nothing) My parents eventually got me that big, bulky, light add-on so I wouldn’t have to look like a moth whenever I wanted to play Super Circuit. Those were classic childhood days I look back on fondly. It’s weird how technology was so good… but also straight-up crap. “You can’t see the game because the screen is too dark?” “I dunno, here’s a tiny lightbulb.” I played mainstream games like Pokémon, and Mario, and Kirby, But my parents also got me really random games they probably just found in the clearance bin at the store. Which made for a mix of some interesting gaming experiences. And I kinda wanted to relive the glory days and see if the games actually were like I remember. So, I replayed a bunch of them and here’s what happened. First game, ‘Powerpuff Girls Battle Him’ for the Game Boy Color. I didn’t have a Game Boy Color, so, I got to play it on my Game Boy Advance SP with half the cartridge sticking out. I also don’t remember being able to get past the first stage and ended up replaying the first screen all the time. Granted, as a kid I loved the feeling of starting a new game and would always restart a Pokemon file because I liked the clean, slate feeling. So I was like “Maybe I never got too far because of similar reasoning.” NO! NOT THE CASE! This game can go die in a hole! I love it, it’s my childhood, but oh my God, someone could hit all of them with a hammer, and I would not be sad! You play as Bubbles, which may I mention looks weirdly buff… Even as a kid I was like “Is this Bubbles a man?” 0_o :O You fly around and collect like, everything. There’s so many collectibles and I don’t know what any of them do. Rings, trading cards, plutonium, hearts, phones, people… But it’s almost impossible because the flying mechanics are like trying to control melting butter over a sauce pan. The whole game is an ice level in the sky! There’s also criminals afoot and they’re ready to fight you. You can beat them up, but I also like how you can just walk past them, they’ll square up, and then just go “Eh. Whatever.” This guy just straight up has a gun. Alright, who gave the nerd a gun?! *pew pew* Ow! Ow! Stop! Ow! STOP! Also, what the heck is THAT?! Is he hitting me? I don’t think he’s hitting me. I think he’s just spinning angrily. Anyway, this game is bullcrap! The levels are huge and way too open for the screen size so you get lost, moving around is a nightmare, Things you need to do to progress are cryptic as heck! The first level you’ve gotta find a key after rescuing Miss Bellum. Where’s the key? Under a secret cave that’s almost invisible and hard to get to! That’s not Level 1 material! “Uh, Why wouldn’t you wanna explore the area and find it on your own?” Because the controls are garbage! And I’m honestly- Just, trying to survive. I stopped playing it after getting halfway through the second area because- It’s all way too difficult to figure out without a guide. I watched this guy stream the game to see if I was just being an idiot with video games, and he wasn’t having much different of an experience and I felt better about myself after that. Next game, ‘SpongeBob: Battle for Bikini Bottom’ As a kid, I remember really liking this game, probably because SpongeBob was my favorite TV show, so I was excited to revisit it. I was shot down real quick. This game’s a platformer with a really simple plot. Plankton made a bunch of robots to steal the Krabby Patty formula, but forgot to pull the “Obey Plankton” lever to ON And why bother just flipping it to obey when it’s already down anyway. So now there’s robots all over the place, not obeying anyone, and SpongeBob needs to do something about it because Mr. Krabs says, “They’re scaring away me customers.” But the thing is… The robots are kind of harmless. They just ponder around and do nothing necessarily evil. Even when you bump into them they’re like, “Oh pardon me-” This robot: can’t harm you. This big guy: wouldn’t hurt a fly. This one: takes you to where you need to go! I don’t see much of an issue here, other than the fact that there’s just robots walking around. What was that? Does someone have a gun? Oh my god, this one is just a bazooka. So the majority of the ‘Enemies’ in the game aren’t enemies. They’re more just objects/platforms to help you get to the end of the level. but, the thing about the game is that, someone put the gravity to like- 300 percent. Spongebob can’t jump high or far enough to cover almost any ground So most of the time you have to redo a bunch of stuff, because if you don’t wait until the last little pixel of the platform, Then you ain’t making that jump! It’s so tedious and adds a bunch of frustration to the game, not to mention the robots you’re supposed to jump or stand on move SO slow. And most of the time you get to them they’re moving in the opposite direction, so you have to wait for them to slowly float all the way back to you a decade later, only for you, to MISS the jump, because the gravity is bricks! I played through the whole game, and the amount of times I died because I couldn’t see the next platform, or had to take leaps of faith, or even just got HIT with bullets out of nowhere was torture. Just- move the camera, you’re making me dizzy- Zoom the camera out, I don’t know where I’m- I can’t-OH MY GOD. I though the boss levels were decent, they’re probably the easiest parts of the game, though. The Patrick robot was horrifying and I don’t want to see it ever again. I love this game, I had great memories playing with it like 13 years ago, but right now, it’s dead to me. Great game, I played it a bunch as a kid, it can burn in a ditch. Moving on to Barbie Groovy Games. I know it sounds weird- “Jaiden, why’d you have a Barbie game? Were you super girly as a kid?” No, I wasn’t. My parents just gave it to me, and I played it, because what else was I gonna do? NOT play it? Unlike the other games I’ve talked about so far, this one’s just a bunch of Barbie-themed minigames. Tic-Tac Toe, Draughts, (Which is just a fancy way of saying ‘Checkers’.) This weird horse racing version of hangman, Connect four, Fun fact about me, I will ALWAYS lose at Connect-four. I think what happens is that I just get too focused on what I’m doing to notice the other person winning. I suck at Connect-four and I’m proud. There’s a bunch of other games on there, some suck more then others. But the one I remember the most I remember as a kid was Barbie’s version of ‘Snake’. Conga Line. *big zoom* I’m NOT joking, they took Snake, and were like: “But what if instead of a snake eating apples, it’s a bunch of Barbies dancing in a conga line! And they can like, pick up Barbies along the way to make a longer line!” I. Loved. This. Game. *chuckle* It’s stupid, and hilarious, and I can’t get enough of it. Look at those moves! They are having the time of their life in this… …Bedroom, I think. Also, when you miss one of the girls it becomes a weird, like, CULT DANCE. Imagine that scenario right there in real life. That’s terrifying, and I want it to be real. So the Barbie game was pretty fun. I lost at most of the other games against Teresa, But we don’t need to talk about that. (O really) It’s one of those pick up and put down wherever you want kind of games. And I understand why I liked it as a kid. Finally, we’ve gotten to the last game. This one’s a bit different because it’s a Plug ‘n Play game. I had a couple of these as a kid. The Spongebob Plug ‘n Play, and the NickTOONS Plug ‘n Play. And also the Disney one but I didn’t like that one as much… The NickTOONS Plug ‘n Play was my favorite as a kid, so I wanted to replay that one. There’s a Fairly Oddparents game that’s kinda just Pacman, Jimmy Neutron game with ladders and aliens (it’s alright-) A Spongebob board game thing you can play with friends, But the games that I wanted to talk about are the Rocket Power one, and the other Spongebob game. There’s two, and this is the better one. I loved the Rocket Power one, and would mainly play the Plug ‘n Play just for this game specifically. It’s basically a top down scroll game where you avoid obstacles, Go through flags, and grab collectables for points, But that wasn’t my favorite aspect of the game. I liked this part.>:) *fabulous ol’ retro music* rip skateboarder You get points from jumping, And literally DEMOLISHING other skateboarders! My seven year old self would go out of my way every level to destroy as many other children as possible. I didn’t care how much it slowed down my time, That was NOT my objective here. Overall, 10 out of 10 game, entertained me for years. The objective of the Spongebob game was to shoot Krabby Patties into the mouths of everyone in town, And grab the money they toss on the ground. I mean, it’s not conventional, But I guess there’s nothing particularly wrong with that business exchange. Everyone just wants a Krabby Patty, so as long as you don’t run out of patties, You can kind of just shoot them at whoever- Oh jeEz- Sorry about that, man- I didn’t- *laughter* Alright, besides THAT guy, You can just shoot them at- *balloon boy falls into void* OH NO! Is that kid dead? What happened there? I mean, he looked not too upset about the fact I just popped his balloon while he was dangling 15 feet in the air. I guess, the world moves on. I’ll just not think about it and keep doing this Krabby Patty stuff. Alright cool, didn’t hinder me at all in the end. It was for the greater good (no it wasn’t) Another 10 out of 10 game That was my nostalgic trip down Weird Video Game lane. It was surprisingly fun and also not fun to revisit these old games. Opening them up again, and seeing the graphics, and hearing the music gave me immediate flashbacks to when I played them 15+ years ago. But also trying to actually beat them made me want to never play them ever again, And kind of tainted the illusion they were good and fun games. Looking at you, Powerpuff Girls, and Battle for Bikini Bottom- Did I have fun? Yes. Kinda. Alright, I actually think I had more frustrated hours than fun hours, But did I have at least a little fun? Yes. The ratio doesn’t matter… …that much. Should you do this? I don’t care. This was a fun video to make, Not because I got to play video games for it, But because I got to show how much of a gamer I am. It’s pretty impressive how gamer I am. Anyway, it was a bit different of a video, I’ve been wanting to see what else I can do with videos lately and explore a bit, So if you like this one and it does well, maybe I’ll talk about it some more. Also, I wanted to mention again, if you wanted to see James, Dom, Ross, Arin, and me drawing it up on sh- *ari’s holy noises* – and me drawing it up in Scribble Showdown, Tickets are still on sale on the website and will be on tour October Oneth- Oneth- *laughing* October- stop it, hey- what are you talking about-? October 1st through the 9th. It’s gonna be a lot of fun, and hopefully we don’t end up hating each other by the end of it since we’re all gonna be cramped together on a tour bus for a week straight. But, I might see you there, and I might see you at Vidcon, You won’t see Ari, he’s gonna be at home, Thanks for watching, peace out gamers! Say “Peace out”, Ari. Hey, aah- stop it-

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